4GY-arr -- WE RISE!

Saturday, February 03, 2007
4:01 PM

SELF ESTEEM AND SECURITY

I understand in certain seminars, certain conferences, certain settings you need to introduce yourself, who you are and what you're doing. But there's something wrong if you need to add in a title before your name to impress your audience. When I meet people I say, "Hi, I'm [my name], how are you?". What happens if what I do is no more? Who and what I am is not my job, if I lose my job I have not lost my identity, and I can never lose that.

And you need to remind yourself who you are, you are a beloved child of God, a favored one! People love those who are secure, they don't need you to pat them on the back all the time, they can enjoy seeing you blessed and happy, who are able to affirm and praise you! And to praise one is not to push another down.

It's a sign of weakness when a girl hears another being praised and points out some faults or flaws, "Yes, but you don't know her ah..." It doesn't reflect upon the girl in discussion, it shows the insecurity of the accuser. She cannot bear to hear others being praised! These people cause problems in relationships!

It's tiring to keep watching out for their thin skins and protect them for scratches! "If I praise him, I must praise him too, because he is insecure. Now that I've praised this guy, I must praise that guy, or else he'll think, I praised those two, I didn't praise him!" You'll DIE of exhaustion :) Not literally.

These people, even if you marry them, before long, their tentacles are all over you! It's worse than anaconda 2! Drain the life out of you! But it's wonderful to have a girl who's complete, who's healthy, whole, strong! But to also need you some! :) But she is secure.

Who you are, do you know it in your head, or in your heart? If you know it in your head, you won't win in the fight of life, you'll find jealousy coming out. Nobody knows, but the symptoms of weakness will still be there: jealousy, envy, insecurity, inability to praise others, inability to enjoy seeing others get blessed, always wanting to put them down, pointing out weaknesses so you feel better...

It doesn't mean you're a bad person, wicked, evil... it just means you're immature, insecure, you're weak.

You ARE weak. And if you're angry at me for saying this, that's definitely a sign of weakness! :) Haha, but to continue... It's the size of your heart. And whenever you catch yourself doing that, tell God, who knows all about you and loves you all the same, because His principle is that when you prosper inside, you'll prosper outside. It's just a matter of time.

You have to consciously remind yourself who you are. It's like driving. You have to be conscious. Open your eyes wide :) After you pass your driving test you check the mirrors, the blind spot, you turn your head 180 degrees, you clench the driving wheel so tightly your knuckles are white!

And you turn to tell your partner and warn, "DON'T talk to me." The first time, yes? Driving on the leftest side of the lane, behind the bicycle guy? And the harder you try the more mistakes you make. Especially going up the winding, winding, winding ones at the mall and scratching the brand new car.

I'm referring to a Singaporean friend who just passed her driving test. How she managed to get her license I can never comprehend. The officer must have been drugged. No no, of course not, but it was SCARY bumping along the jerking car sitting right beside her. Congratulations, anyway, my dear friend Felicia :)

The key is to flow. But you need to be conscious before it's second nature! Then it's auto-pilot! After some time, with sufficient practice, we don't even notice that the mirror is out, or poorly angled, we close, lock and promptly forget where the car is! Haha! It's part of our lives now.
And this is a wonderful theory to get a fast car. You can test it on your wife/girlfriend.

Sometimes you have to speed to be safe, especially when you're not sure if that guy in front wants to turn left or right, you must overtake him to be safe! It's true! We need fast cars, because these slow ones cause accidents! Especially at t-junctions and cross junctions! And usually they're females. I remember once telling Ruth, "Just look at the way she drives. I bet you it's a lady driver!" and it was a lady driver! -.-"

What's going to happen is this. Take awareness. For example you're retrenched. You feel bad, your emotions are down. It's time for some self-talk, you feel miserable because you think you're past your sell-by date, you're useless, worthless. There and then you have to start driving. Learn new ways to think, based on the bible. Stop and say, "I feel bad, but I am still favored by God. I'm still valuable, and God gives me very close attention. I'm sure God has a better job waiting!"

I've seen that happen several times! Some employees, they are brought up well to have good attitudes towards their bosses, but they are abused! With low pay and long working hours, and their next job opened their eyes! They're paid much more, and that's the market rate!

Pass by the mirror and go, "You precious you, Jesus loves you, He will supply all your needs not according to the leading airlines, but according to His riches! God has something big for you!" (Just a side note: The world's best airlines, with superior service, IS Singapore Air!) And keep talking to yourself. I do that, a lot. I like myself! Haha :) But I didn't say, go stare at the mirror, "Whoa, I'm in love!" -.-" Don't be vain... I'm recommending saying it aloud, but the conversation shouldn't go on forever, till people start pointing fingers, "He's talking to himself, let's give him a wide berth!"

After a quarrel with your spouse, when some harsh words were spoken not out of either's heart but out of emotions, stop and think, "This whole thing is small, God loves both of us." Always bring in the God factor. When you're dumped by your boy/girlfriend see it as a reflection of her poor taste! Respect their decision, not everybody can see the light, how wonderful you are! If God who can see perfectly loves you, if they can see perfectly they'll love you!

You don't get your identity for another's recognition. Don't give so much power to people. When someone criticizes you, if you're hurt, you're really really really hurt, they have too much influence over you. Snap out of it! Then you'll find emotions won't have the rule over your life. It's human to feel, but you must also understand that feelings follow your thoughts. Right?

The world gives you this kind of nonsensical belief system "I can't live with living without you, I can't live anymore!" Every generation has its own song, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine" and its building wrong identity values! "Don't they know it's end of the world because you don't love me anymore?" Good riddance! Your whole life shouldn't collapse! It shouldn't revolve around the person. The tunes are nice, but it's killing people. You're more exciting when you're complete, and you spend time out of strength, not weakness.

You stop reminding when it's second nature. Marriage isn't two halves becoming one, it's one plus one becoming one. If you get a half you have to supply the other half, and you don't want to give up half. She's not your better half. Are you complete if you're not attached? Are you precious if you're not, valuable if you're not, beloved of God, if you're not attached? Of course you are!

And now you'll be a blessing to all your relationships

Bid me crew avast! Keep yer banner high
Classed, forever a class :)
Class of our own
Wind be at yer backs, sails never slackin'