4GY-arr -- WE RISE!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007
12:27 PM

Another long entry by Sarah
Deletable without fatal consequences

It's almost amazing how quickly time has passed. Orientation week was fun, once we were quickly grouped into our various OGs we were learning game rules, names, places and cheers.

I remember how nervous and excited, at the same time (lost and depressed?) I was about walking through the gate into that looming building (why do they call it a building, when it's already built?). SMSed LiChoo (chootarian!) and she didn't reply -.-" Contemplating on the changes, I felt like I've given up a part of my life in exchange for something...

How much will change? My sleep pattern, my syllabus, my school, sidekicks :) soulmates... Every year a new batch of students enter a new educational institution, it's such a life-changing issue I almost expect it to be on the daily headlines.

I prayed the night before for acceptance, for favour. I don't want to waste two years of my life as a faceless member of a crowd, I want to experience every part of it to the fullest, and I know many of you do too. It's not what we're given, it's what we make of it. You can be just as content in a prison as in a palace (but don't go to prison, please, it's just my what-doesn't-kill-you-make-you-stronger philosophy). Don't we want to go to bed thinking "life's great!" and "I'm glad it's another school day!"

As I was praying some ideas just began to drop into my heart. When it goes into your heart and not your head you just know that you know, you can't explain how or why, there's just this sense of safety and security that everything's going to be okay. My prayer was so effective I thought I'll pray for the rest of you guys too :) so... everybody okay? Swimming and surviving at the deep end?

There was no physical obstacle or obvious barrier. It was all in the mind. I found it difficult to accept this beautiful new school just because it wasn't what I was used to, and then I kept comparing the people I knew to the people I'm yet to get to know. Yes, they ARE different. They speak different, they think differently, they dress differently. But deep inside we're all the same, good people :)

I was comparing so much that I couldn't look beyond the flaws and imperfections we all possess to see that they were really trying to reach out and welcome me into their world :) These are the people who will be influencing me for the next two years...at least, for the next three months, people who might eventually grow more intimate to me than those who used to belong to my inner circle.

Sometimes we need to look beyond external appearances to see what is inside. Like beneath angry words are grievous hurts, and behind that arrogance and proud showoffness is insecurity. Its like times when I get really angry at a relative, but then I'll need to remind myself, did she do it on purpose? Since she didn't, shouldn't I show more patience and kindness? And plus, it is at times like this when we grow.

Some things are taught, some things are caught. If you hang around crude people you'll just learn vulgarities, if you hang around people with a passionate spirit you'll catch their enthusiasm. Your priorities will choose your friends. And this will help us all tremendously in our relationships, to value ourselves.

If we don't stand for anything, we'll fall for everything. But it'll be much better if we're known for forgiveness than for our hard stand against liars, because when we stumble we don't want condemnation as people who do not practice what we preach.

It hurts others when you set double standards.

I'm also learning that friends ought to be frank, wounds of the faithful really are better than the kisses of an enemy, but this straightforward honesty ought to go hand in hand with tactfulness, with diplomacy.

Yes I was late :) So much for first impressions.
Our biological clock needs winding up!...or down!

There were groups of people who were wandering around too. They're weren't ignoring me, just...being seniors. J2s are having tests every other day. Soon it'll be our turn :) Remember to rest and relax, so that you'll be refreshed. Don't sleep less, your productivity will suffer. That way you'll consolidate your strength for powerful decisions.

Just thought to add this: One day you will die. I'm not cursing you, you WILL die. And death is not the end, when you die you just...lose a major part of your life. There are so many people dying in their sleep, young athletes, even, but life is just one half of the coin. There's still the other side :) Life is short, and life is uncertain, find peace and joy. There's really nothing better than to love and be loved. Its cliche, but it's true. You know, of course, that I'm referring to the unconditional love that few possesses. That lowly form of "love" that brings you to bed every dog has.

When you consider how thousands of people die every year believing in their own immortality, it's really a jolting wake up call. You just don't think that much about the fragility and uncertainty of life when you're "young and free". But then its like a bolt out of the blue when you realise, hey, the world will continue to go on with or without you, even your family and friends.

Another lesson I learned is never to take a person's presence for granted. It's little things like these, you know :) When you walk into a room, smile or wave at a person you know, when you leave out of a room, back track to where your friend is and say something warm and encouraging before you go. It's so sweet you'll melt, at least, I did. Come on, we're not pieces of furniture :)

Then a j2, in tribal fashion, jumped out from behind some bush or something and practically screamed into my ear, "Hi! I was from SC too!" When I jerked in response, resisting the urge to defend myself with appropriate violence, I considered screaming back a friendly greeting and suitable form of retaliation... but decided that it was inappropriate for a newcomer to be showing such familiarity. So...I shouted :)

It's amazing how much people can change. I saw friends I used to know, but they appeared "strange and unfamiliar". It was like getting to know somebody all over again. It's not a bad thing as long as changes are for the better, I don't want to be stuck in a rut of routine and never grow up.

Hey people, even if there's not much work yet, we need to read up ahead! Yes, for good impressions. And we're no longer secondary school students. We're in JC now. Suddenly, we're old. Well, mature, but it doesn't feel any difference between one month ago and one month later.

Maybe I'm crapping, it IS a random thought, but for a very long time I've wondered what it means to be mature. I read about children who are forced, through circumstances, to grow up and provide for their families. There is a difference between growing up and growing old. Immaturity then is self-restriction, it is the fear that constrains us from bravely venturing out to take up great responsibilities. Some are born great, some achieve greatness... Haha!

It was quite a shock seeing so many guys covering every inch of the school, with their deep manly voices and strong firm hands. With biceps like thighs -.-" Actually seeing each person was a shock. So few screams now...and not very many people speaking English, er, not that we go around screaming or speaking Shakespearean as a form of addressment, but anyway :) Now we know why 'hurhur' is referred to as sarcastic laughter. Females go 'haha', males go 'hurhur'.

SC here is really the minority,
but then I'm sure that's the case with every other JC too.

At first I kept mostly to myself, like Xiangling, so everybody probably thought I was this stone that popped out from the ground, then I saw so many people laughing and having fun I decided to try. I didn't want to be this antisocialite, but say what to who? Sometimes being alone is peaceful, but when you're trying to adapt to new surroundings you kind of want somebody to assure and affirm you? But you have to take your own first step.

But really, the people ARE very kind. Every three minutes or so somebody else appears to ask me if I'm alright. There's so much hand shaking going around, I'm surprised nobody's hands have been wrung off yet. You can't help noticing their well defined bodies... Haha! Okay, okay. I shall not sound like Lorraine. After they've learned my name they brandish it with every other sentence, and I'm there smiling and nodding and avoiding the use of their names, which I'm yet to learn, but too, er, shy to ask.

Of course, later some way or other, somebody will teach me his/her name. Everybody seem to know everybody else, their strengths and weaknesses. And they all seem to have memorised soccer results, and who the top players are. What does it concern me how much Beckham earns? He's not going to give me a fraction of that massive salary, will he? (By the way, Mr. Beckham, if you're reading this, do offer. I'll accept) My life doesn't revolve around others, but really, it's like they possess a secret bar chart that shows the whole college on screen.

I sense competitiveness already, like everybody's judging how everybody else has leadership potential or something, or assessing to see whether you'll make a good girlfriend or not. Individuality is very much prized, people who stand out from the rest of the pack. Somebody actually told me so-and-so class (in senior year) actually did worst for bio -.-" it's reminded me of natural selection of the fittest?

There's this "study corner" a short distance away from the theatres that I saw hordes of muggers cramming away. Kinda brings back the O level days, and how much I've stagnated since. I was quite glad to see them sharing notes and discussing difficult questions.

Okay, from time to time I heard diversions...like "check out that guy on the left". Unless they're guys, then they'll give you cow-like smiles (do cows smile?) and wave. Haha :) And since I'm sure most schools discussed this, I'm sure you guys won't mind I share my opinions on boy-girl relationships? :) Yes yes, at our age, concentrate on our studies.

It's not true those who drop their clothes are sexy. Eyes widen, but then they just want to get you somewhere, do something, and go. Love you, care for you, marry you? No way! Every man has such inclinations, and all women ought to know that, from the paupers in the passageways, to people with principles, to professors, pupils, PAP, pastors in their pulpits, and princes in their palace. It's human nature, it's MAN's nature.

Love openly, there is nothing to be ashamed of :)

It's not in the words, let actions prove your eloquence! It's in the giving. The giving of time, of energy...and yes, money is involved. You have to speak the love language of the one you love, like buy flowers for girls and not a washing machine! :)

And if a guy likes a girl he wants the world to know she is his wife, legal, proper! He won’t take her to bed when he knows she’ll be guilt-ridden and feeling condemned and worrying about the time of the month and whatever it is. He won’t want to hurt her. A man must honour his wife. And please, no need to be so possessive can? :) Aiyoyo. What's yours is yours.

The real sexy ones? They are those who cover up, who leave something to the imagination, those who hide because what they have is too dear to be shown to every Tom, Dick or Harry…Or Ah Seng and Ramasamy, in Singaporean context. That which is rare and precious are those valuable objects which cannot be found easily...I hope I didn't entice any creative minds to dirty thoughts now :)

I've a friend I knew from last year who had "fallen". Fallen for a guy and then... Haha, this isn't sunday children's school. No condemnation, alright? It's like a billion dollar diamond ring that fell into the mud. It's now dirty, it's now defiled, but its value remains unchanged, it can be cleaned and polished to its full splendour again. Why am I getting into this? Haha :) Moving on...

Throughout the briefing I kept wondering if I should have chosen a JC that would have more SC peeps, but then I was looking to try something different. Everybody tells me what you learn in the polys are really a whole lot more practical, while schooling at a JC is more of a general education. I'm going into the government, I want to work in the United Nations. History, geography, here I come! I looked around me and felt like 'the proud and the few'. And JC rocks, I kind of like the enrichment, the a-men-ites, and facilities they offer :)

There is this whole list of CCAs, it's crazy for choice. I feel so spoilt compared to SC, no wonder so many scholars join band. No offence, k? Especially if you're from band :) love you, Jas :) But there really isn't that much variety. I've 13 in mind, but I'll be reconsidering again and again... Let me just say that I love where I am currently :) Keeping my fingers crossed and head bowed for the results of the Cambridge papers :) You know I'm praying for our class, pray for me too

Haha, and just being ambitious and setting goals and whatever, I want to be captain or head or leader of a CCA. Better me and my compassionate heart than someone else as the head who is a tyrannic bully, right? Go the other mile, promise little, deliver more. Service is the key to greatness, to be a wonderful leader, right? Let's all aim high, because we can :)

Now thinking about it all jcs offer us the same kind of a-men-ites. Lotsa testosterone, you understand. Oh, I agree with Lesley. Beverly is going to be the AC guy magnet :)

We should force everybody to list their subject combi, and birthdates (remember, people, it'll be MAJELLA'S BIRTHDAY on the 11th of this month, january!) so we can gather together to photostat answer sheets for whatever. Schools always share exam papers and stuff, yeah? Haha :)

Still, find me the familiar blue SC uniform! :) The sexy, bare armed SC blue uniform! I think every one of us feel this sense of loyalty to each other and to the school. Once a kimgek, forever a kimgek. SC's so cool. We just love the cut and design of the attire we've donned for so many years, it's almost a part of our lives, the embodiment of SCGS and its spirit?

It's silly, but I felt really thrilled and happy whenever I saw somebody I recognized :) even if its a rude, mechanical prefect that booked me before. Sorry, Jean, Lesley, Meiyi, Beverly, Chootarian and Shaan :) its the means and method I'm referring to. But I think I understand a little more about the SC spirit we possess, of giving in and not giving up, of caring sincerely for others, helping without returns :)

SC gals really possess this inner beauty, and I miss our people so very much, I miss SC and 4gy desperately. Especially my beloved class sitting partner :) Beverly! :) How dare you not mention me in your latest blog entry? In the presence of the rest of the class I complain. Okay, I miss the rest of the class too, but I think another 32 names will take up too much space :) You're all somewhere in my heart. I missed even Qian. Okay, not really :) Haha, KIDDING, KIDDING. So right after the day ended I found myself on the bus heading back to SC. The sense of nostalgia was almost overpowering.

I walked right into the canteen, into the staff room, past the classrooms and all the other various places we used to visit. Went to speak to my juniors, and disrupt their practice! :) Forced the teachers to confess of their affection of me :) of us :) yes, we're the best class they ever taught! Everybody was warning their juniors to be quiet, and there I was encouraging them to increase their decibel level and contribute to noise pollution! :)

Haha! :) I miss our meepok, but jc food's not so bad.

Okay, I love my combi, and my new class :) I know I'll love my chosen CCAs too. My new school has a great atmosphere and very friendly and wildly enthusiastic people, teachers and students, but we all know what we mean when we say we miss the SC vibe :) Quiet, but present.

There is love, patience, kindness and dedication in every stone, every brick, every tile, every table, every teacher. We have the best cleaners in the world, I tell you! :) The nicest :) Not that the teachers or cleaners are inanimate, but nevertheless.

The j2s possess this sense of solidarity that I'm sure we'll grow into, once we've shed our individual identities and take up our new school's regimentals, values and culture and what have you. All for one and one for all! We're now all from the same college, let's stop comparing secondary schools. Shouting and screaming and cheering ourselves hoarse together :) for those in the same state of health as me, drink water with honey. It helps. Really! But more about happy schooldays... Just yesterday we were laughing so hard we had to be helped up the last flight of stairs :)

I sound like a bullfrog now. That shows a little of how noisy I was :) While it's not anything particularly embarrassing it IS rather inconvenient. Still, nobody said I can't make the best of it :) The mass rallies and dances are like sports day and class parties combined. They're fun :) Haha, if you can't dance, you can just stand there and shake with the rhythm of the music :)

Okay, I wasn't serious, but you got to be patient with yourself, take time to learn...at least that's what I tell myself :) When you possess the attitude that everything's going to be alright "always look on the bright side of life!" then stones thrown at you magically turn into creampuffs that edify, and build you up :) When I think about it, the transition from secondary school to jc isn't that hard. In fact, orientation made it really easy.

When you have a goal in life, everything else just seems to fall into place. My first PE lesson we did hurdles, and you know you don't look at the stupid white hurdle, you look far ahead and jump. It's just gearing up the courage to leave behind what's "old" to embrace what's "new".

2007 - the year of new beginnings :)

Bid me crew avast! Keep yer banner high
Classed, forever a class :)
Class of our own
Wind be at yer backs, sails never slackin'