Sunday, June 04, 2006
11:15 PM
Every psychic phenomenon, if it is to give us any understanding of a person, can only be grasped and understood if regarded as a preparation for some goal. Each person decides in early childhood how he will live and how he will die, and that plan, which he carries in his head wherever he goes, is called his script. His trivial behaviour may be decided by reason, but his important decisions are already made: what kind of person he will marry, how many children he will have, what kind of bed he will die in, and who will be there when he does. It may not be what he wants, but it is what he wants it to be.
-What Do You Say After You Say Hello? by Eric Berne
i sit at a piano
my fingers wandering over the keys
the manuscript punched out long ago
by my forebears
turns slowly
as i pump away
the music pours forth
in a pattern i cannot change
at times melancholy
at times gay
now jarring
now full of melody
occasionally
i strike a note or chorus
whose sound may blend
with what is written
or disturb the smooth flow
of the fateful song
the roll is thicker
than the law and the prophets
the songs and the lamentations
the old testament
and new
bound by
the commandment
of my will
magnificent and mediocre
dreary, dreadful
a gift given
piece by piece
by loving, indifferent
ignorant or hateful
parents
under the illusion
the music is mine own
i witness my body
slowly wearing out
minute by minute
hour by hour
sometimes i rise
to take a bow
or a boo
from the audience
listening
blinded
who believe
i march to my own beat
i play to my own tune
(continued)
as for now i know not
whether i still run by a music roll
or not
if i am, i wait
with interest and anticipation
but without apprehension
for the harmony
or discord
following
for i know i am obeying
the long and glorious tradition
of my ancestors
passed on to me
music
perhaps sweeter
than i could compose myself
certainly there are
large areas
i am free to improvise
it may even be that i am one of the few
fortunate
who have cast off the shackles
of their calling
and who now commands his own destiny
playing his own tune
in that case
i am a brave improviser
facing the world
alone
but whether i am faking it
on a player piano
or striking the chords
with the power of my mind and hands
the song of my life
is equally full of surprises
and suspenseful
as it rolls off the sounding board
pulsating in time with destiny
a barcarole that will
either way
leave, i hope
happy echoes
behind
Bid me crew avast! Keep yer banner high
Classed, forever a class :)
Class of our own
Wind be at yer backs, sails never slackin'
